There’s another of those Facebook memes floating around, and this time, it’s all OVER my feed. Maybe you’ve seen it?
Yes, I get that it’s got a joke at the end. But I want to discuss the ACTUAL message of this recently pervasive meme.
“Being an atheist who shames religions and spirituality as stupid and not real is not okay.”
First of all, if someone saying your religion isn’t real shames you, that’s something you need to figure out for yourself. If you truly believe in your dogma, if you are confident and utterly certain of your own beliefs and religion, then nothing anyone says should be able to “shame” you about it.
“Being a Christian who is misogynistic, homophobic, racist, or otherwise hateful in the name of Christianity is not okay.”
So, this meme is saying that an atheist who says to someone “God isn’t real” is analogous to a Christian calling someone a faggot and telling them they will burn in hell. That is some serious bullshit. In no way is that comparable behavior. Unless the atheist is physically harming someone, or doggedly following them around and mocking them for being religious, or chronically harassing them online, these are in no way the same thing.
Misogyny, homophobia, racism… these are heinous things. Me telling someone I think their religion is silly is a dick move at most. I think it’s dangerous to propagate this notion that if you’re an atheist, you have to keep your mouth shut about it because it’s not nice to tell people that their supernatural beliefs are silly or stupid, and I think it’s truly harmful to declare that doing so is as bad as racism or gay-bashing.
Race, homosexuality, gender…these are facts. You’re born gay, you’re born black, you’re born a woman. You don’t get to choose. Religions and spirituality are IDEAS. You literally get to choose whichever you like best, whichever seems the most right to you. They are ideas, and ideas are never above critique.
One of the comments on one of the postings of this meme that I saw amounted to “We should all tolerate and respect everyone’s differences and beliefs no matter what.” Well, some people think it’s perfectly acceptable to seriously beat their kids when their kids misbehave. Some men think hitting women is acceptable. Some women think it’s okay to fake a pregnancy to trick a man into staying with them. Some people think cheating on your spouse is okay. There are people who believe that God doesn’t want them to get their kids medical attention, ever. There are people who believe sex with children is normal and loving. There are religions that preach hate and harsh judgment. There are atheists who think feminists should just shut up about women’s rights.
There are a lot of people who believe a lot of horrible fucking things. So where do you draw the line when it comes to respecting and tolerating their differences?
Generally, my rule is if it’s not hurting anyone else, it’s okay. However, “hurt” is in no way an objective term or concept. It may hurt someone’s feelings that I think it’s ridiculous that they believe in god, but there’s no malice intended. If I were to publicly humiliate someone, or go out of my way to tell them how stupid they are because they are religious, now there’s malice. I don’t do that. Because I’m not usually that much of a fucking asshole. Usually.
I’m not really sure how to sum this up. I’ve written a few paragraphs, but they weren’t quite right. This meme doesn’t have me angry or butt-hurt or offended. (It’s damn near impossible to actually offend me.) What I hate is the virality of these things, and how quickly people pass it on without really thinking about it. And the fact that there’s a “funny” bit at the end just makes people think less about the message of the first part.
Just think. All I want you to do is think. Be able to defend your ideas, for your ideas, opinions, and beliefs should be worth defending against a legion of dickwads. And if they aren’t, maybe they should be reconsidered.
I have had atheists try to shame me for having beliefs.
I have actually been told that I am stupid for being a Christian. Not that my belief in a zombie god was stupid. That because I had that belief, that *I* was stupid. I know it can sound like a “reading into it” thing. But I actually asked and clarified with one individual.
I have been told by atheists (plural) that as a Christian, I must hate gays. Which, as a bisexual, hurts me more than I can say. The whole idea that it’s somehow an either/or deal. That I can’t claim to be a Christian unless I accept the bullshit idea that god hates fags.
I have had the term “fairytale belief” used against me often as an attack, to try to make me feel bad about having them. I know it can be used in less hateful ways, but I’ve had it used against me as a form of belittlement so many times that every time I hear it now, my asshole puckers for a moment until I can figure out which way it’s being used.
When I first read it, THAT is what I felt the message was addressing. Not the idea that Atheists (capitol A, apparently) shouldn’t be proud, that they shouldn’t be able to discuss their non-belief. But that people shouldn’t try to belittle an individual or try to make them feel less than in any capacity. That using your belief or non-belief against other people in a hurtful manner is wrong.
Reading it again, I can see how you can read it the way you did. I also think that the person that wrote it was not an atheist (but maybe an Atheist). I’d like to think it was a well-intentioned message that was executed poorly. I don’t disagree with anything said here really, but did want to bring about that other possible way of looking at it.
What you experienced is asshole behavior, for sure. But I still don’t think it’s analogous to being gay-bashed, or experiencing racism. I’ve been told I’m going to burn in hell for being an atheist; I totally share your experience in the asshole behavior arena of this. But you and I, we have chosen to be an atheist and a Christian, respectively. And for anyone to say that being shamed or belittled for that is the same as being shamed or belittled for something no one gets to choose (race, gender, sexuality preference) is wrong.
I really appreciate your comments, as always. You are one of my favorite believers. Thanks for giving another angle on this!
I dunno… I mean, it certain feels just as painful to be bashed for my belief as it does to be bashed for being bisexual. Chosen or not, they are both a part of my identity, a part of who I am. It hurts to have a part of me bashed, no matter which part it is or why it is.
Maybe it’s the difference between getting kicked in the face and getting kicked in the shins. But it’s still getting kicked, and I’m not a fan of it.