This week we take a look at some brand new geeky boners! Nick is super excited about an expansive television show with a name to match. Molly is enjoying the return to a book from her youth. Tim is bragging about being knighted by the Winter Carnival and insisting that everyone call him “sir.” If you want to know what we are super nerdy about, this is the episode for you! Also – you don’t need to call tim “sir.”
This episode title is sure to get us in trouble with some lawyers. As is the implication that we’d get a boner from Mikey Mouse. But really, we are just geeking out about all the cool nerdy stuff in our lives. At the moment this episode goes up, Tim is on the ocean cruising with Mikey and his pals. Nick is probably still playing Fallout 4. Molly is still playing Animal Crossing. Since those are our geeky boners for the week, it makes perfect sense!
This is obnoxious. First of all, the surface problems with this are clear. It’s very entitled, and it’s a shining example of Christians not understanding that loss of privilege ≠ loss of rights. On its face, it seems accepting enough. After all, the author goes out of his way to let you know that you Jews and blacks are all right by him, so long as you don’t get offended by him wishing everyone a Merry Christmas because that’s what he celebrates. But I am willing to bet that, were this Christian to be wished “Happy Hanukkah” during Hanukkah, he would be annoyed and say, “I’m not Jewish!” Similar for a Blessed Kwanzaa. So right away, I’m wondering if the respect he demands for his Christmas celebration would be given in return to, say, everyone else.
But let’s get to what really gets on *my nerves. I’m a huge word nerd. I also have a very strong opinion regarding words. THEY ARE JUST WORDS. They only have the power you give them. If you are so bothered by someone saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas,” you really need to grow the fuck up. There’s no difference. None. Think of it this way: if I said “Happy Holidays” to you in a language you didn’t understand, and you asked me what I said, and I told you it means “Merry Christmas,” you wouldn’t know the difference. Because it’s the thought, the feeling, the intention that matters.
Words are the tools we use to communicate with those around us. Someone who says “Happy Holidays” to you is just conveying “I wish you well during this season of celebration” in their own way. And despite what the crazy Christians would have you believe, no one is legally forcing companies and businesses and television stations to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” They’re choosing to do it. Because they want to include everyone and to make everyone feel warm and happy and festive. It’s not about taking away your Christmas. It’s about letting everyone else in to celebrate together.
Go ahead and call it a Christmas tree. Guess what, asshole? I’m an atheist, and I call it a Christmas tree, too. Posting this doesn’t mean you’re taking some moral stand. You’re not the Rosa Parks of Christmas. You’re just an insecure bully trying to make everyone do things your way.
(I’ll show you, Nick. Sober Molly keeps Drunk Molly’s promises!)
Peter and I were against each other in round two. I was trailing by maybe 15-16 points going into the final hand, whereas Peter had maybe 5 points to go to win. Peter dealt, his crib, I play. I manage to peg an incredible 13 points in mere gameplay, Peter pegs up to ONE POINT from a win. It’s my count first, and I am totally going to pass the finish because I have a doubled run. BUT THEN PETER GETS LAST CARD and wins!
I want to talk about Gabby Douglas and God. As you may or may not know, Gabby Douglas is an Olympic gymnast for the United States, and she won gold. She was amazing. Of course, people felt the need to bitch about her hair, but that’s not what I want to discuss. Gabby Douglas attributed all of her success to God.
Now, let me show you the image meme someone posted on Facebook that got me thinking about all of this:
The text that “For America” has provided with this image says that “some in the media are complaining” about Gabby Douglas’ Christianity. It then implores you to Like the image if you are “tired of liberal attacks on Christians.” One of the first comments I saw was from a man who said he had spent the last hour and a half scouring news sites, feeds, media aggregates, and search engines, yet he could not find a single instance of any person from the media lambasting her for or complaining about her remarks. He went on to say that these sorts of things are dangerously divisive, and I have to agree.
You might think that I, as an outspoken atheist and anti-theist, would have a problem with what Gabby has said. But I don’t. Because SHE did the work, and SHE won the medal, and if SHE wants to say that was her god working through her, that is her prerogative. What I can’t stand is when someone has heart surgery, or survives a car crash due to emergency responders, and then says that God saved them. No, a surgeon saved you. A paramedic saved you.
But see, Gabby Douglas did this on her own. This is her victory, her achievement. I can’t think of any reason anyone, atheist liberal godless heathen socialist or not, would deign to say she is in the wrong with her statement. If a neurosurgeon removes a tumor from your brain, and you say, “Thank you, doctor, you saved my life!” and the doctor’s response is, “No, I was merely the vessel through which God worked His miracle for you,” so be it. He did the surgery, he gets to say who deserves the credit.
But fuck you if you wake up from that surgery and give all the glory to your god and none to the surgical team or the scientists who came up with the medicine practices used.
I sure am tired of hearing about whether or not chicks get to be hot, geeky, and in costume. I mean, really tired of it. I’m tired of all sides of this argument. But fuck it, let’s dive in to the fray.
So Joe Peacock wrote an article on CNN.com entitled “Booth Babes Need Not Apply.” You can guess what it’s about from the title, but I’ll sum up a bit: he hates the fact that girls who aren’t actually interested in geek culture and who don’t have any geeky interests of their own are paid by companies to dress up in slutty costumes and stand around looking sexy to lure geek guys into various booths and halls at conventions, particularly San Diego Comic Con. (He also dislikes that there are growing numbers of equally non-geek chicks who put on slutty costumes and go to these conventions to get attention from the attendees. We’ll get to that bullshit in a minute.)
At first, I agreed with Peacock. I, too, dislike the idea of someone pretending to be a geek in order to sell geeks something. I don’t like it when anyone uses disingenuous behaviors to sell shit. Hiring “hot” chicks to flaunt their bodies and coo at guys in order to get them to buy things or sign up for things rubs me the wrong way. It’s sexist. It’s sexist against everyone involved. The women are objectified, the men are told it’s cool to objectify women, and the men are reduced to their sex drives and treated as though they only think with their dicks. It’s insulting. For everyone. Here’s a quote from Peacock that I agreed with: “As a guy, I find it repugnant that, due to my interests in comic books, sci-fi, fantasy and role playing games, video games and toys, I am supposed to feel honored that a pretty girl is in my presence. It’s insulting.” Yes! And if he were only talking about the paid-to-be-there-looking-sexy booth babes, I’d be on board with this. But he’s not. You see, he’s talking about cosplaying female attendees.
I couldn’t have decided to be a geek any more than I could have decided to be a white girl born in Minnesota. I came this way.
One of the first presents I can remember wanting is a microscope. I got one when I was 9, and I played with it constantly. I looked at the difference between sugar crystals and salt crystals. I looked at a strand of my hair versus a strand of my mom’s hair. I pricked my finger over and over and looked at my blood. I loved the slides, the way they’d click together. I loved the cover glass squares, and how delicate they were. I would hold them in my hands and feel their tiny sharp edges press into my palms. I looked at water droplets, and at flower petals, and anything I could cram onto a slide and shove under the lens.
Many people become atheists when they lose their faith. In all honesty, I never had any real faith to lose.
As a child, my family was Catholic, but not devoutly. My mother converted to Catholicism for my biological father. I never felt like religion was important. I was aware of Jesus, and I took Catechism classes so I could receive my first communion, but my focus was on the memorization and getting it right so that my teacher wouldn’t be angry with me. I was a high-strung little kid who was very worried all the time. I thought praying the rosary was like a magic spell; if I did it enough times, nothing bad would happen. I wasn’t worried about heaven or hell, because I didn’t think I was a bad person. I was far more concerned with the threat of vampires than with damnation or sin. The very few times I participated in confession, it felt pointless.